Tuesday, August 30, 2005

OK, Now That My Token "Godspeed" Post Is Out Of The Way.....

What is wrong with you people?? I've spent a grand total of 11 days of my life in New Orleans and even I know what would happen if it took a direct hit from a hurricane. If you stayed in your home, you are a selfish ass and are putting the lives of first responders in danger. They have to risk their lives because you don't care enough about yours to heed a [b]mandatory[/b] evacuation notice.
I pray that no cop, EMT or fireman is hurt trying to rescue some thoughtless yahoo standing on the roof of his house. So if you're conceited enough to think that you can survive a hurricane, then at least have the common courtesy to NOT call for help when the water is rising around you.

Godspeed

Our thoughts and prayers are with those of you living through Hurricane Katrina.

Monday, March 07, 2005

What If I would Have Told You Four Years Ago..

..........that that Syria would withdraw from Lebanon?

..........that Saudi Arabia would hold municipal elections?

..........that Egypt would plan presidential elections?

..........that Palestine and Israel would have true detente?

..........that Iraq would hold free elections?

..........that Afghani women would vote in free elections?

..........that Libya would voluntarily give up its weapons program?

..........that Pakistan would be a key player in the war against Islamic terror?

..........that Iran was on the verge of a popular revolution?


To the consternation of those who for partisan purposes seek to minimize the importance of recent events, we are living in historic times with changes that were unimaginable only four short years ago. If it wasn't for the revolutionary global changes between 1980-1991, this era of blossoming democracy would be unprecented in modern history.
So we have to ask ourselves - if these changes are [i]really[/i] happening, was it all worth it? If the invasion of Iraq was the catalyst for all this, was it worth it?

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Still In Despair Over The Election?

For those of you despondant Democrats who simply wont be satiated by immigrating to Canada, might I suggest a more, ahem, permanent solution?

Thursday, November 04, 2004

Please Help! I CANT Stop Reading Democratic Undergroud!!

These people are just amazing to me and I absolutely canNOT stop reading their delusional diatribes. Are there honestly people like this?

"searching my spirit for "how I was feeling". I told others here awhile ago, HOW WILL I LOOK MY TEEN IN THE EYES? How will he ever believe in anything positive again.
We spent this entire year in full steam ahead working for Democracy and a brighter future. He got all enthused about it too. I was so proud of him. It looked like this election was the ticket to cause him to perk up and want to get involved more fully with life and educationl
FUCK YOU REPUBS AND WEAK KNEED DEMS for doing this to my family.
My teen said that if Bush won, he would go to jail instead of being drafted. Either way, his life is screwed behind that catch 22."


"There are organizations that can independently fight to find out about voter fraud. How much money does MoveOn still have? Could some lawyers get together and pool their pro-bono hours to fight this thing -- then KERRY isn't seen as the one fighting it, but more votes could still be found. Kerry conceding can be seen as the patriotic thing to do ... but others can keep fighting on in his name. He'll look good, and the fight will still go on!
If fraud is found (kicking out lots of fraudulent ballots or E-ballots) or if enough votes are found to trigger recounts in certain states, who knows?"



A majority of voters (and not all of them gay-hating, bible-thumping bigots) thought Bush was the better alternative. And the rest of the world is embracing that decision. The global markets soared as soon as the news hit. Terrorists in Fallujah have begun crapping themselves in anticipation of the city's liberation. Jobless claims are down.

In other words -

Get over it.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Waxing Poetic

Ahhhhh, the sweet, sweet nectar of victory is in the air. It courses through my veins - warming my heart and tickling my loins. She's a tender, loving mistress that invades my soul and intoxicates my psyche. Rejoice, as I suckle at the bosom of triumphant success and conquest.
I shall savor each and every one of the next 2,217,600 minutes that the American people have bequeathed to each and every one of us.

And blessed are those that we have saved from themselves. May each of them come to experience the joy and relief that I have come to feel in the last 14 hours. May each of them be sustained in the sheltering womb of Mother Conservatism.

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Raining In Northeast Ohio

Whatever that means.

Speaking of Bloom County

Im certain Berke Breathed wasnt thinking of Kerry when he penned this, but he should have been.

Worked the phone banks at the local Republican HQ this weekend. Typical positive responses from the party faithful as well as the chronically undecided.
However, it was the call sheet from the "Belly of the Beast" that had me most surprised. This phone list, bequeathed to me due to my infectious optimism as well as my complete dearth of personal shame, contained the inhabitants of the most liberal precinct in my county (hint: home of a legendary radical 60's/70's college campus).
Anyhow, the callees not only refrained from issuing death threats and inferences to my mother's volcanic libido, but they also were suprisingly receptive to my conservative wiles. Positive responses that I'd think would be more at home on an early 80's Reaganesque campus rather than of hotly divided anti-Bush lair.

Oh Please Please Pretty Please

I just hope they dont wimp out like they did in 2000.

I hear Qatar is lovely this time of year.

What's Another Word For "Thesaurus"?

To break up the monotony of poll watching, I present to you.......

Steven Wright.

Why Didnt I Think Of This?

From INDC Journal -

"But Kerry voters - I just noticed there's a West Wing marathon on TBS! All day long! Starting any minute now!

Don't miss a treasured moment of the passion, principle and drama as President Josiah Bartlett tackles the pressing liberal issues of the day and fights terrorists with both resolve and compassion! Will Leo and Josiah's poignant friendship survive under the strain of the Presidency? Will a nervous C.J. successfully parry the questions of a scandal-obsessed press? Will Josh and Donna's dedication guide the President to victory against his Republican challenger? Can Toby secure the crucial votes of the UN Security Council in their multilateral quest for peace in the Middle East?

Don't you dare miss a single second of the all-day West Wing marathon!

The rest of you - vote."



Classic misdirection!

Dumbest Idea In SD Campaign History

You dont sue the other candidate. You leak the story to a well-placed source in the press. Innuendo and gossip will go a lot further without making you look like a whiny crybaby.
And why the need anyhow? His internal pollsters must be a lot worse than the other out there (Thune +2-3).

Regardless, this pansy-ass move just cost him the election.

Mass Confusion In My Sleepy Little Village

Due to construction of a new village hall, the residents of Sleepy Village proper are voting in my usual polling place. Since its about the same size as a glorified men's room, there was a wee bit of confusion as to who sticks what in where (prom night, anyone?).
I drove up at 6:45AM and was greeted by a line of humanity about 50 souls long. Very unusual where I come from. My initial reaction was that these were the new registrants paid for by the NAACP with three vials of crack. But then I found out that there was a separate (and much shorter) line inside for my precinct. But not before I heard a middle-aged woman claim that the Republican poll watchers were intimidating Dems by asking for ID.
Anyway, I poked and prodded my good ol' reliable punch card and proceeded on my way.

Monday, November 01, 2004

Live-Blogging The Election

I'll be live-blogging the election tomorrow including up-to-the-minute feedback from poll observers in Ohio and Colorado.
Dont think anything until I tell you what to think!!!

Kerry/Streisand Caught in Tryst! Bush To Name Kucinich Sec. of Peace!

Im going to be up all night waiting for the other shoe to drop. Theres got to be an Octob...errrr...November Surprise. There just has to be.

Cheney is really a Automaton created in a joint venture between Halliburton, Enron and Microsoft!

Edwards - Im not just a spokesman for the Hair Club For Men, Im also a client!

Gov. McGreevy tells of his passionate nights with Laura Bush!

My Completely Reliably Infallible Electoral Prediction

Bush - 315 EV's
Kerry - 223 EV's
Bush wins outside the MoL (Margin of Litigation).

Bush wins OH, PA, FL, IA, HI and WI.

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